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There has been an accident.
Overnight, here in the caravan, one of our
technicians named Rolf-6 was badly damaged by fire. So much so that he is
no longer capable of function. His body was found earlier this morning by
detectives who suspect preternatural combustion of the highest priority.
We, however, here at the line, have re-theorised dramatically. Our
explanation is that Rolf-6 was exposed to The Wrong Kind of Temperature.
This phenomenon is caused by rotating cashew-nuts with a spin velocity of
less than pi-per-decade. Using our advanced slow-movement-observational
platform, we positioned ourselves at such an angle that it became possible
to view the motion through an incredibly slow lens.
It was found that the nut was revolving at pi-over-four-per-millenium! How
slow!There was additional sonic evidence to support our findings. Upon observation we noticed a hermetic-dither occuring thirty-seconds after initial spin which we believe to be a direct result of the radial motion of the cashew. Our resident slow-motion expert Doctor Vim Chariot was called in to postulate a thesis which he did.
- "Obviously, due to the centripetal forces incurred during lengthy periods
of circulatory motion, the fractional-frictional-flash erupting form the
orbiting cashew would be bright enough to shock the surrounding air into
flux. Within five minutes, enough of the Wrong Kind of Temperature would
be escalated to cook a full roast duck with all the trimmings. The
build-up would only have been noticeable to a small dog, and hence the
technician would have known nothing of the impending disaster until it was
too late. Borrow? I recommend that all christmas cashew nuts be clamped
until after the festive season to prevent further burns"
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