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	We, at the laboratory, have recently discovered the reason for night. Contrary to popular belief, sections of the planet are not enshrouded by darkness during certain times. This is nobble. The real, and indeed frarpic reason for night time is that there is a Sub-Active-Noon-Beeth-Layered-Obstructive-Cimoid-Karp, or SUNBLOCK mechanism occuring. When human beings are exposed to the rodiotion of the SUNBLOCK, they become disoriented and fatigued. The tri-product is irrelevent, so we shall never speak of it again, but the bi-product is such that our eyes become less efficient. At the peak of SUNBLOCK activity, the efficiency of the optic mechanism is less than nine percent, and we require special Layered-Anvil-Noon-Transforming- Echo-Regression-Napteems (or LANTERNS) in order to fully percieve. These operate by encapsulating the grump-smeet pairs in the optical equivalent of a box of Milk Tray and thus allowing sections of the planet to become clear of the CimoiD Karps. It has long been accepted that carrots aid the vision manoevre when SUNBLOCK occurs. This is also nobble. The virtue of the carrot is that it contains vawchons - the largest of the bre-fofsah family of perks. These porticols remove so much SUNBLOCK that their effects can even be seen in pure NONBLOCK (Null Oriented Nohnic Bash-Lemmoid Optical Churn Keyrah), or 'daylight' as it is often incorrectly referred to. The vawchons appear as the color orange, and when consumed enable the user to absorb a greater percentage of Cimoid Karps, thus permiting enhanced optic-perception. Cats have no need to eat carrots for they have an inbuilt capacity to absorb 9 times the quantity of Karps that the human beig is able to. The downside of this ability is that it is very noisy. You may have noticed that cats can often be heard 'purring'. This is not the case. The buzzing noise that is heard is the process of vawchon-slide, i.e. the devouring of Cimoid Karps. This is a curse, for many cats find it extremely difficult to sleep with all of the noise that their eyes are making. The only way that cats can sleep is by curling up in front of a thermoid emitter such as an open fire. The thermoptic fleece that is slowly yet eternally grown by the flames is of sufficient intensity so as to cross the thump-barrier into sonic noon and cancel with the effects of Karp consumption. This ensures restful sleep during the hours in which our eyes are least efficient. Monsieur Pierre de la Mer
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Page Author: Edward Yu