The New Division
There was a new division form today in the union of temporal distortions. The Union decided
that the growth of the human manipulation division was such that it required it's own
company to be formed in order to manage it's affairs. Spokesman Dr Blue Thunder doctor of
psycic awareness and finger itching said
"I beleive that this is the best move we have made since the
formation of the labaroatories in north west cheam. We shall strive to improve finger
technology and grow as demand for our products grow."
Indeed this new division will also allow other companies in the city to become
more competitive in the finger enchanment industry. Sources believe that the industry production rate will
increase by 9% as a result.
|
Cows v The People
Today the government has passed a new
act to ban the wearing of leather shoes. The act termed the Non Discretional Shoe Act is the
first organic related act to be passed in 9 years. Cows have been termed as 'for food only'
and use of the cows can only be for grazing. They are no longer allowed to participate in
horse races and antique auctions. In fact the act has deemed that all antique items bought by
cows in the past 5 years must be returned to their original owners. The cows will be re-imbursed by the
government's act via clause 9:9 which states that the cow is entitled to choose an alternative
hobby which involves the participation of species other than bovine bos taurus.
|
Discovery of the Human Hair Ball
 The foundation of human follicles has today
announced the genetic cloning of hair. This experiment carried out on research assistant Madeline Margarine
was a total success as hair DNA from a welsh goat was cloned into the scalp of Madeline. The result as
you can see is phenomenal, the photo shows the amount of hair clone in just 9 minutes. The prospects are
unreal, hairdressers will be a thing of the past as people begin to have hair style cloning salons, where
people can choose exactly their style and have it cloned in minutes. |
|
|
