Nigh God is Here!
It was early this morning when the people of Biradel realised the true facts of the situation.
The village mender came out for the very first time to join the celebrations. Everyone was
happy and only one word was on the tips of their tongues, Gothan. Gothan was the man who had
destroyed Opus yesterday in the greatest moment of historical beast eradication yet. Opus was
perceived to be the last of the hunters, a violent magical evil vile creature that only spawn
every nine hundred years.
Yesterday the fight lasted a total of 45 seconds, and all the action was jampoopstic. In fact if
there was only one sound in the world that could describe the fight it would
gaororoteehthuuiiiidssssss.
In an interview with Gothan, he stated that he was overwhelmed by the occasion and that he will
return again next year to stake a claim in the story. Biradel is once a gain a happy place
to be thanks to Gothan. The festivities have been going on for coming up to 6.9 hours
now, and the people say that it will continue for another nine days yet. We will be
covering the next nine days with anticipation as the events unfold into a marptic folder.
We wanted to interview Opus as well but unfortunately we couldn't catch anything he said with
his mono-luptious deep slinky voice. In fact all we could make out when he was in mid flight was
the words, baa ram you, baa ram you. We do not as yet have a devilian translator here to
translate this to us. From the intonation we could discern that the words were indeed harsh.
More to the point, the events which occured here will have serious repercusions in the world of silk
weavers, and it will greatly affect the norn crops this year.
New Revolutional Dancing
Just in, floppy dancing, much like baby dancing is taking off in clubs around London. It is
based on ancient techniques of joint loosening rendering the limbs "floppy".
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Snow More People
Unique revelations this week as our holiday reporter finds out the situation in the skiing
town of Charlamagne Orboronan in North Alsace.
Normally at this time of year they are all busy with tourists and holiday makers, but strangely
this year the tourists have totally avoided skiing. Local shop store owners and tourist officials
have made a statement to the world:
"We at Charlamagne are hoping that this is just a temporary freak coincidence, we are also
pleading to people of the world, to spice up their lives by coming here and at the same time
helping us towns folk to earn our living this year.
As you may well know, this town survives on the wealthy rich slimeballs who come here every year,
and we need their money right now, yes now I say!!"
Kev Kevin our reporter commented on how sparse the area was, and in 1 week he managed to see a
total of 3 people on the slopes, 2 of which were his cameraman and rigger. The third was unsurprisingly
himself. Currently he is trying to leave the town, but local folk are refusing to let him leave until
he spends enough money to keep the local community going for 2 more months. He has today made a
plea on behalf of the town to the United Nations for Coincidental Non-Visitation Relapse
funding. The results of the plea will be evident next month.
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| Derivation of the intense word known as poopic.
Segement of a report secretly sent in to our editors this week. It outlines the phenomenal
discovery of the derivation of the word jampoopic.
From beyond the times there was a word known only to the intense cavemen who lounged around all day
and spent th rest of the time eating pigs.
They spoke of only only thing and that was poopic.
This first word in the alphabet was not known as poopic but poo.
And since then it has progressed. For 400 hundred years the word poopic was useed to describe
an intense session of lazyness until then. Th Romans cam and liberateed everything. They
add the letter j and decided that poopic was too slang to be involved in the latin alphabet.
They hence from there changed the word to jonpoopic. Also they provided many derivations and
classes of the word.
jonpoopic - an intense session of sleeping
jonpoobae - an intense session of sleeping with a woman
jonpoobus - an intense session of eating
jonpoobum - an intense session of drinking
jonpoopoo - an intense session the day before
jinpoopii - an intense session tommorow
jimpoopor - an intense session next weekend
jampoopic - an intense session right now.
Hence today we are using the word jampoopic only. All other derivations have been
discarded and the word is only used to mean, it's complicated.
Dr Ezkiel Dmittri, Dr of languages
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