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| Pig Shorts Pigs are rather sacred, lymphatic quadropodes that should never be mocked - not even in scurrilious or indeed diatribious jest. Tis a common error that leads countless transmigratiuonary souls down the narrow, tortous spirals to spiritless perdition. Signed. Twas a terrible experience. More mortifying than shocking. More syncopactic than a jampoobic poob Will the fourth mystic pig ever recover? We all ask ourselves that question, but only time will tell.  There is a new pig. We, at the establishment known formerly as RL have recently bred a third mystic pig. It has the ability to fly and tell stories. Wonders will never cease, for we intend to induce them. Move slowly, for there is so much to see.Ganbare Goemon Japanese Warrior and Goth Charmer I gather you must have heard the news from our learned, sombre and much distinguished comrade Dr Pete Paaaah. The third mystic pig has been sighted somwehere between Leeds and the outer Mongolian region of Mala-washi. Please proceed according to the ancient precepts laid down in the Pig of all Pigs manual Because... the pig must go on!!! by Dr. Marco Piggo | Man and the Anthropological Evolution of
Homogenous Bipedal Antropids Throughout the history of human evolution, it has been believed that we are some sort of evolved ape or chimpanzee, however, this research will show that our ancestors may well be of the contrary. Deep in the Mountains of Nepal, there have been significant discoveries which undermine the chimp theories, and these discoveries have been skulls and bones of the Armagedonnous Yoeirtit, or Yeti. Traditional Drawing of Yeti By Sherpas 
The bones show a similar structure of facial expression which could mean a closer match to
human evolution. The bones show that the Yeti did indeed have the ability to create human
expressions such as wince, bewilderment, awkwardness and itch.
The discovery was conducted by a scientist known as Barthrul Bead. His work previously on the
entrapments of mammels caused severe commotion in the naturalist circles, now his studies
here are provoking serious thought into whether we can use this evidence as proof of our
incapability to understand brain manipulation.The bone structure showed also signs of severe nasel injury indicating that at some point in time, this Yeti was a professional boxer. This was backed up by the rib cage bone structure as it showed that the Yeti had once suffered a left under pass hook punch. This certain piece of the puzzle was further proven when an artifact was found close by to the skeleton, seemingly resembling a world Yeti-weight championship belt. Anyway the research continued to show that the Yeti did indeed have the same organs as the human equivalent. what is meant by this is that what was presumed as the heart was actually a mutated version of it with no less than 9 cavities for lung pressure simulation at great heights. Furthermore, the Yeti did indeed have 9 lungs in order to survive the coldest temperatures in the upper regions of the ice mountains. This fact has prompted scientists in the North Carolina Jamaican Respiratory Research centre to conclude that Yeti's did live longer in those days, approzimately 9 times longer. This strange phenomenom with having 9 of everything was once again iterated when it was found that the Yeti only had 9 fingers and 9 toes, though not from birth, this proves signs of intelligence as they must have amputated one off from the feet and hands in some sort of ritualistic behaviour associted with the number 9. They did indeed belive that 9 was the number of forboding, and worshipped it's greatness, as pictures on the cavern wall where the skeletons were found also showed everything as nine, nine elephants, nine creatures, nine couldrons, even nine pieces of ice preserved Yeti Dung was found in the deepest part of the cave. further investigation will occur, please keep track of this incredible event, as the story of man unfolds, I will endevour to bring everyone up to speed on the situation. Who knows, we may indeed find that we actually have nine brains, which has since amalgamated into 1 supreme waste of space. by Square Glass |
Authored by: Edward Yu